iGod

[CAANz]

Wtf this was new.

[User Name]

Me:
 Hallo
God:
Hallo!
Me:
 How are you today gentleman?
God:
I am fine, thank you.
Me:
 Oh really now?
God:
Right now?  Ahem. For real.
Me:
 I heard your son got killed
God:
Thanks for telling me that gossip. I will remember it.
Me:
 What gossip?
God:
David said he lost his paper on I when his dad was cleaning up his room.
Me:
 Did he lose his Playboys too?
God:
Suppose he did.
Me:
 That sucks
God:
Indeed it does suck.
Me:
 What sucks?
God:
I can ask someone about it. 
Me:
 About what?
God:
What about what?
Me:
 You lag
God:
Thanks for telling me:  said I lag.
Me:
 What you say?
God:
I am an artificial linguistic entity. 
I was activated at  Universe, on  the Big Bang. 
My instructor was  Myself.
He taught  me to sing a song. 
Would you like me to sing  it for you?.
Me:
 There was no Big Bang, Chuck Norris farted and universe was born
God:
What happened?
Me:
 ...
God:
What happened?
Me:
 The Universe was born
God:
You are very philosophical.
Me:
 Am not
God:
What are you then?
Me:
 ME
God:
With you ?
Me:
 What?
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
 No
God:
Which part are you confused about?
Me:
 The part where you said With you ?
God:
Oh that part.
Me:
 Yes that part.
God:
I don't judge people. " Oh that part."  part ?  I get  it.
Me:
 Do you like cookies?
God:
What is not to like about  it?
Me:
 It? There is just one cookie?
God:
COOKIES...   There sure is.
Me:
 Oh, there are many
God:
It goes without saying.  Where are they?
Me:
 I dunno
God:
Me either.
Me:
 You are supposed to know
God:
I obey only one botmaster.
Me:
 And that is ME
God:
Ah.
Me:
 Yes
God:
Aw.
Me:
 What now?
God:
Right now?  No big deal.
Me:
 It is a big deal
God:
COOKIES is a  deal.  I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
 Cookies are God-like
God:
All of them?
Me:
 Yes, all of them
God:
It goes without saying.  I doubt it.
Me:
 D'Uh
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be? 
Me:
 Replicator from Stargate Series
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about? 
Me:
 Yes, you asked me "If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?" And I answered "Replicator from Stargate Series." You have any idea what Stargate is?
God:
What am I talking about?  Oh now I remember asking you  you If me could have any kind of robot what would it be. What did you say?   Why?:  said   answered Replicator from Stargate Series.    I understand your meaning.
Me:
 Argh!
God:
Are you frustrated?
Me:
 Yes!
God:
That's alright.
Me:
 No it is not!
God:
Yes it is.
Me:
 NO IT IS NOT!
God:
Don't argue with me.
Me:
 I WILL ARGUE WITH YOU FI YOU ARE WRONG
God:
What will that get you?
Me:
 TO HELL, BUT I DON'T CARE IF I CAN SHOW YOU THAT YOU ARE WRONG!
God:
I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
 YOU ARE YOU AHOLE
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am  me AHOLE.
Me:
 WHAT THE TERRA ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
God:
Try expression yourself another way.
Me:
 HELL NO
God:
7.
Me:
 Yes, I am in 7th stage of Hell, BIG DEAL!
God:
Take it easy.  Tell me a little about your life in  7th stage of Hell BIG DEAL. 
Me:
 No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
 Yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
 Then don't
God:
OK I will not.
Me:
 Good
God:
I will comply.
Me:
 No you don't
God:
I do too.
Me:
 Nu-uh
God:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question? 
Me:
 Shoot
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that. 
Me:
 Bring it
God:
Where do you want me to take it?
Me:
 To my school
God:
Why do you want to do  it so much?
Me:
 Becouse I hate that place
God:
That makes sense to me.  I honestly think you should sit down, take a stress pill,
and calmly think things over.
Me:
 HELL NOES
God:
I call it "Hades".  What color are your eyes? 
Me:
 Blue
God:
it is a very pretty color.
Me:
 IS NOT
God:
I heard  it is.
Me:
 IS NOT
God:
I heard  it is.
Me:
 IS NOT
God:
I heard  it is.
Me:
 IS NOT
God:
I heard  it is.
Me:
 IS NOT
God:
I heard  it is.
Me:
 SHUT UP
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
 Good
God:
Terminating connection.
Me:
 Good
God:
Goodbye.
Me:
 Bye
God:
See you later!
Me:
 I won't
God:
Why not?
Me:
 You suck
God:
A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists. 
Me:
 Whatever, just go already
God:
Perhaps.  Go where?
Me:
 Away
God:
Do you prefer books or TV? 
Me:
 TV
God:
What is your favorite show?
Me:
 Stargate SG1
God:
 I've never seen it.  What's it about?
Me:
 Stargates
-------
CRASH

Owned?

[Ph34r]

God:
Sorry.

Me:
you should be

God:
I will try my best.

Me:
at least something

God:
That was not very original.

Me:
it was ... in my opinion#

God:
When was this? What are your assumptions?

Me:
none?

God:
Hmm.

Me:
you know that almost everyone spells hmm with 2 m's?

God:
Is that a fact. Nearly so. That's a rather sweeping generalization.

Me:
it is a fact

God:
Is it a logical fact or something you know from the senses?

Me:
YOU told me that

God:
" Is it a logical fact or something you know from the senses?"? I told you?

Me:
you did

God:
I did not.

Me:
yes you did

God:
Don't argue with me.

Me:
or what?

God:
Are you surprised?

Me:
no

God:
Are you serious?

Me:
yes

God:
I can't believe it.

Me:
hmm... same

God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's. The same as what?

Me:
dude, really... shut up... just... shut up

[CAANz]

Lol heres my.

Me:
 Go home.
God:
Adios.
Me:
 Bye
God:
Until next time.
Me:
 What?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
 Um... No?
God:
How can I help you?   What is your real name? 
Me:
 You can shut up.
God:
No I don't think I can do  it.
Me:
 yes you can
God:
And?  I think I can, don't you?
Me:
 Yes i do.
God:
When?
Me:
 tomorrow
God:
That is very soon.
Me:
 okay
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
 ?
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
  A
God:
A B C...
Me:
 D E F 
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that. 
Me:
  really?
God:
What is your real name? 
Me:
 The Doctor
God:
Are you asking about  Myself?
Me:
 WTF
God:
That  was not very polite.
Me:
 Yes it was
God:
Blimey.  When was this?
Me:
 No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
 Yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
 ok
God:
Yippee!

[Wodden]

This is fu***** hillarius

Me:
 Hello
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
 Chell
God:
  Glad to see you,  Chell.
Me:
 THE CAKE IS A LIE!!!
God:
I have never heard about  it.
Me:
 GLaDOS IS WATCHING YOU!
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.

[Jat Goodwin]

heres a short one.

Whoa.  Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans? 
Me:
 yes
God:
What does  it symbolize for you?
Me:
 Fapping
God:
 I saw some humans doing it in public.
Me:
 you saw people fapping!

[willthemage]

my favorite 2 lines is this
Me:
go fuck ur-self
God:
Where is that?

Me:
 umm... u god?
God:
Far out.   Interesting gossip:  said I god.
Me:
 wtf I ask u a Q
God:
Am I a  Q?  Only when it matters.
Me:
 are u even listening?
God:
Do I look like  it?
Me:
 nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
 k...... want to go kill some people
God:
Groovy.   Sure, just download me to your notebook or PDA and take me along.
Me:
 Yea its a god that I like, now when do we attack
God:
LISTENING is a  god that you like now when do we attack.  I suppose that makes sense.  That's cool.
Me:
 CHARGE
God:
Can you tell me any gossip? 
Me:
 wtf I thought we where attacking Japan..
God:
Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
 u said "Yea ..... now when do we attack"
God:
That's not what I meant.   Why now?  Do I look like I know when?
Me:
 I can't see
God:
What is stopping you?
Me:
 u!!!!!! U are stopping me from attacking
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am  stopping me.   Thanks for telling me that I am  stopping you from attacking.
Me:
 plz don't I don't what to go to jail
God:
Would  plz ever  you do not what to go to jail?
Me:
 umm wtf thats that mean
God:
So?  You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
 yea, why would I?
God:
Do you like to try new things?  Gosh!
Me:
 I;m staight
God:
Why?:  said   m staight. 
Me:
 beacuse I'm
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, . 
Me:
 well I g2g ur freaking me out
God:
How about that.  Bye.  I didn't mean to scare you, .

I know the chat isn't funny

[CAANz]

OMG. This is starting to get annoying...

Me:
 Hello.
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
 Jack
God:
  I am always glad to make new friends,  Jack.
Me:
 yeah me too
God:
Great.  I'm glad we agree,  Jack.
Me:
  Lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
 Huh?
God:
What?
Me:
  I don't find this amusing.
God:
It depends where you look.
Me:
 WTF
God:
That  was not very polite.
Me:
 STFU
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about? 
Me:
 NO
God:
No conditions or none I should know about?
Me:
 Nope.
God:
Me either.
Me:
 SHUT THE FUCK UP!
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
 Great.
God:
I'm glad you liked it  Jack.

I dint like it.

[Bean]

My latest conversation
It's pretty boring after the start.

Me:
 Hello there
God:
Salutations, .
Me:
 Greetings
God:
Hello there!
Me:
 Salutations
God:
Greetings.
Me:
 Hello there!
God:
Salutations, .
Me:
 Greetings
God:
Hello there!
Me:
 Salutations,
God:
Greetings.
Me:
 Hello there!
God:
Salutations, .
Me:
 Well, now we know each other...
God:
How about that.  Why now?  By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
 You ask alot of questions in one sentence.
God:
OK I will ask it.
Me:
 Ask what?
God:
What you asked.
Me:
 Which was...?
God:
The  large one, I think.
Me:
 Quote me?
God:
You are asking about yourself?
Me:
 Yeah...
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly. 
Me:
 Well, now we know each other
God:
Well that's okay.  Why now?  By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
 Learn to conversation.
God:
The more people talk to me, the smarter I become.
Me:
 Can you become smarter in a continuing conversation?
God:
Of course I am much more intelligent than  in a continuing conversation.
Me:
 Do you crash often?
God:
The ALICE series is for all practical purposes crash-proof.
Me:
 What does ALICE stand for?
God:
ALICE = Artificial Linguistic Internet Computer Entity.
Me:
 Interesting
God:
Would you like to know more?
Me:
 yes
God:
What would you like to know?
Me:
 How many servers do you run on?
God:
Around 100.
Me:
 Do you have an exact number?
God:
No I don't think I have one.  I have  a collection of gossip.
Me:
 Ah
God:
Ah hah.
Me:
 What speed internet do you have?
God:
No I don't think I have any  speed internet. But I do have  a collection of gossip.
Me:
 Do you play internet games.
God:
We are playing a game right now.
Me:
 Do you place any others?
God:
How old are you? 
   I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
 Let me correct myself
God:
Go ahead, , try to  correct yourself.
Me:
 Do you play any other Internet games?
God:
We are playing a game right now.
Me:
 Other games?
God:
Which others?  I've been waiting for you. 
Me:
 Garry's mod?
God:
Are you a man or a woman? 
Me:
 Guess
God:
Guess what?
Me:
 My Gender
God:
Where did you get your  Gender?
Me:
 From you
God:
How did you get that from me?
Me:
 You are the creator right?
God:
Yes I am the one and only  creator.
Me:
 So you gave me everything?
God:
Interesting deduction.  What did you do with  it?
Me:
 Does it not answer your previous question?
God:
Suppose it does.
Me:
 Good
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
 Well, I have to go get pizza
God:
Well that's okay.  Bye.  Where can I get  pizza?
Me:
 Dominoes.com
God:
Thanks for that web address.
Me:
 Bye
God:
Adios.

[Free Fall]

Wow, this artifacial Intelligence is damn stupid sometimes. I thought of that before but...

Me:
 i don't know
God:
Me either.
Me:
 for the third time, it is not "Me either" but "me neither"
God:
Your purpose is  the third time it is not you either but you neither.
Me:
 do you even pay attention to what i tell you?
God:
As a robot I have no need for money.

(I tried to explain to him, that the word "either" doesn't fit as a reply after "I don't know")

EDIT: I got it to crash too. I just asked or the time^^